My Dad- What he was and was not- I Love

A seemingly heartless, rebellious, rolling stone he was. Liked by people he chose -feared & envied by others, comfortable outside of religion and tradition. A single parent out of revenge, love eventually struck a soft spot. All I ever knew were his gentle yet hard working hands. As he changed his occupation from 'easy money machine' to honest blood, sweat and tears, we grew together. Not an average childhood I had, nevertheless I will never forget the night he came to me & held my little hand in his, he acted like he put something in it, but it was visibly empty. I said "what is it". He said "its all my love", and he walked off. He didnt show much of that to the world, only partialy to friends or occasional strangers in distress. His favorite saying was "I can be your best friend or your worst nightmare". Today, he is still stubbornly set in his ways, but wise and proud of me. I have come to study Kabbalah, it teaches the science of God and the blue print of creation with the intention of obtaining enlightenment for the sole pupose of radiating love to the world. My dad is apart of that because I carry his love with me, the love he grew me with and passed to me. Love cannot be simply handed to someone, but I guess his spec was special and he powerfully planted it within me. I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for everything that my dad WAS and WAS NOT, because it is all a part of WHO I am.